Sunday, November 6, 2011

What Makes Your State Great? Kentucky

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that since today is Kentucky day, and I am who I am, that I’m going to indulge in some juvenile giggle fest by posting about Big Bone Lick State Park, located on Beaver Road, just outside of Beaverlick Kentucky. HA! You don’t know me as well as you think you do. I have something else on my mind today.

Do you know what that ^ is? That is a photo of the side of my computer. It functions as a sort of bulletin board for me. Those brightly colored squares of paper contain phone numbers and addresses, grocery lists, birthday reminders, chore lists, tarot spreads I’d like to try, herbs I need to get, correspondences, bits of prayers and inspirational quotes, incantations, lyrics to songs, and recipes. It is basically an annex for my brain, holding things I don’t have room for in my cranium yet still need to be able to access quickly. My organizational skills absolutely depend on the great state of Kentucky, for here and only here is where 3M Post-it® Notes are manufactured, in the charming and picturesque city of Cynthiana, Kentucky.

I have a thing for Post-its. I can’t use the generic ones. For one thing, the glue doesn’t hold up. The most important function of a Post-it is its ability to stick to things; the off brand ones flutter to the floor the instant the temperature fluctuates or a cat hair gets too close. Also, the paper is of inferior quality and makes my ink or pencil smear; so it’s imperative that my Post-its only be the real deal made in Cynthiana.

We use a lot of Post-its in our house. Not only are they good for the aforementioned things, but they are superior tools of passive-aggressive warfare. My house is papered with snide remarks and “friendly” reminders to do things like shut the front door, put the toilet paper ON the spindle, throw the trash IN the can, and clean the catbox “when you get a minute.” I do believe that if we ever went to family counseling and developed healthy communication skills, 3M would go belly up. It’s in the best fiscal interest of the good people of Cynthiana that my household remain locked in a battle of wills.

For some reason, 3M won’t divulge how many Post-it Notes they crank out a year. It’s some sort of trade secret, although I can’t imagine how it’s relevant. Of course, since they don’t want me to know, I’m absolutely dying of curiosity. It’s like 3M is waging their own passive-aggressive war against me. They know I want to know, and they won’t tell me, and they know I’m not going to boycott because I rely on them to win my own petty skirmishes. It’s all very Machiavellian.

Here’s to Kentucky, home of Post-it Notes. Thank you for keeping me organized and victorious.

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I'm a witch and I'm not above hexing. Just sayin'.